The Common Cold

I’ve had this cough for about 3 weeks, so today, I decided to get some of that Western medicine from my local pharmacy. The Rite Aid is located downtown, which is a more “active” and “diverse” area of the city. I am going to share with you some of the events that took place during my travels. On my way downtown, I passed the bus stop and smiled at the sight of Grandpa Moe (see article titled “Moe”) sitting on the bench enjoying the late afternoon sunshine, what a guy. But it was not until after I purchased my overpriced, generic, possibly placebo cough medicine that the real fun began. As I walked out of Rite Aid, my attention was immediately drawn to an energetic man across the street who was following a woman, expressing his opinions of her rather loudly and demanding that he be rewarded monetary compensation.  Being that this man’s financial endeavors are none of my business, I tried to ignore it. Only then did I realize the true danger of the situation. This man was standing at the door of the Dunkin Donuts, and I needed an iced coffee, and I also needed to not cross paths with this overly expressive gentleman. So I decided to wait across the street and stalk the Dunkin/man/”give me my money bitch” situation from an area that I deemed to be safe. What came next was a less-than-shocking turn of events… The man proceeded to jump on the hood of the woman’s car as she cruised down the block. This was good news for me. The man’s unorthodox, last resort, now or never type decision meant that the Dunkin entrance was free and I could slip inside unnoticed and uninvolved in the financial discrepancies. So I did just that. On my way out, I passed another gentleman who was spending his afternoon on a bench observing the comings and goings of people in the downtown area. He then asked me if I “wanna have some fun”. I didn’t. Still don’t. I think feminism teaches girls that they should be offended by such offers, but honestly, what I took greatest offense to was the lack of creativity in his message. This street shout-out was disappointingly average, it definitely will not be making my “Top 10 Street Shout-outs by Men who Sit and Watch me Walk by with Food or Beverage in my Hand” list. I feel as though my long blonde hair acts as an open invitation for comments, it’s as if I’m wearing a sign blinking inviting one and all (not all but some) to share with me their thoughts and dreams. Look, it’s fine if it happens, I just ask that these messages be comical or creative in some sense, otherwise, rework your material. Many thanks.

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